What Facebook Has Taught Me About People
Let me first preface this by saying that there are some things you already know in your heart, but a little confirmation really gets it into your brain! And THAT's where a lot of things NEED to be when it comes to dealing with life, people, situations and just about anything that comes up, frankly.
Most of us have become part of the Facebook "machine" this past couple years, and if you're like me, it has become a very convenient way to keep up with what friends, family, acquaintances and interesting people that you'll likely never meet in person are up to. In the daily/weekly/monthly exchanges, relationships are formed, fostered, sustained or broken and truths are revealed. You learn. Most especially about those closest to you, or even just on the second or third tier of your life. I love learning so that just works damn fine for me!
To put it all in a nutshell, I have learned which of my family are truly my family and which of my friends are truly my friends. I learned that the amount of time you've known someone or been connected to them matters not. People who have known you the longest can turn out to be some of the most standoffish and shady. Some who are related to you will treat you like a complete stranger. I personally have found that it's the newer people in my life who are more willing to actually engage and interact on a real level. Not only that, some of the people who are geographically more distant to me have managed to pull me closer than ones I've known for years. On that tip, I also learned that some people, even ones who have known me for years, really are more comfortable being friends only a distance - even if they live right across town.
Am I sad, upset or bitter learning these things? No. A bit surprised about certain members of my family, for sure. There were also surprises within a social crowd I once was a part of many years ago. After it's all said and done, though, I am much wiser for it. I now know who not to be so excited/enthusiastic/overjoyed to see at a family reunion, mutual friends event, or at a company meeting, etc. I know who not to allow to smile all up in my face acting like they're so glad to see me when these occasions arise. I tend to be very friendly, attentive and all "out there" when I run into people. I now know who not to jump all over like an excited puppy! LOL! Yeah, I'm like THAT if I haven't seen you in years! Like I said, I'm all "out there" with my feelings, AND IT'S REAL. I will now more selectively share my ebullience and excitement. Especially now that I know how you REALLY feel. ;) One last thing I learned is who to value most among my co workers and the people who have come and take my classes over the years. It was all so eye opening!
My Facebook "relationships" taught me that many of the same people that smile all in your face when they see you in person really are just expressing for the moment. When they smile, gush and go on over seeing you at that point in time, they are merely following habitual social cues and gestures. Many who say "we need to get together soon, girl" don't really mean that - it's just the socially proper thing to say. I have actually tried to get together with an old friend or two, but after several repeated, failed attempts, I realized that I was the only one trying. It took banging my head a couple times to finally see the wall that was being put up. I see and understand now, though. Sometimes it takes me a minute... ;) And as a result of that, I have now put those people in their proper place in my life - on the periphery of it. Which is where they should have stayed in the first place, ha ha. Proper perspective is good. Having it allows you to put things exactly where they need to be!
At the end of the day, these are all lessons well learned! Thank you!
On the very, very plus side, I have met some truly beautiful, sweet, amazing people from all over the world!! I now have friends in Kenya, Tanzania, Germany, The Phillippines, Iceland, India, The Arab Emirates, Poland ... the list goes on! And I'm not talking about those shadow people who are just a number on your friends list, but the ones who repeatedly take the time to engage via private emails, commentary on posts and more. Pretty cool, that! I'll take it! And did I also mention how much of an addiction Facebook is?.... lol. Some of you already know!
.....so. Have you learned anything about the people in your universe during your time on Facebook? If so, share. I'd like to hear your thoughts!
4 comments:
"We got to get together soon girl" is such a social cue. Also if you invite someone out and they say I will try they will probably not make it. I find that to be a nice socially acceptable way of saying no.
That's true, ProKPR. For many, it's just like saying "God Bless You" when someone sneezes. It's a mere habit of politeness, that's all. I am the type of person, though, that won't say it to you if I really don't want to see you again! lol
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