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Saturday, August 23, 2008

Who Decides What Is Beautiful?

I have a guest poster today! A very good friend of mine, strongblkwmn, who is also a wonderful writer.
I read this post on her blog and decided to share it with you guys. Check it out, and please post any replies you might have to her blog:


So, I was watching the news and they were talking about the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. The topic was the little girl who was not allowed to be on camera singing because it was thought that she wasn't pretty enough. This little girl is seven years old.

Here she is:

Here is her replacement:

They're both very cute. It makes no sense that this is already starting. Females are judged at such an early age. It really made me sad to think of how that little girl must have felt. To make matters worse, she was told a few minutes before she was suppose to go on. How disgusting is that? And people wonder why young girls have so many self-esteem issues.

I was in the beauty parlor the other day and as I was about to sit under the dryer when an older woman touched my cheek and said, "You have such a pretty face, baby." I politely said thank you and sat down. I was bothered the entire time I was under that hot ass dryer. Why do people not know that statement is nowhere near being a compliment? If I was smaller would I just be pretty? Sure I would.

Who decided smaller was prettier? Who says that a little girl with a chubby face and missing teeth isn't beautiful?

How did we get here? Do we not care about our children's feelings anymore? I've seen this topic discussed on a few different shows and, for the most part, people don't seem to think it's a big deal. What about the little girl who thought she was going to be a part of the ceremony? I can only imagine what she's going through, but not many people seem to care.

For the most part I'm a pretty confident person, but now and then self esteem issues creep up on me. There was a time when I wouldn't wear bright colors because I thought they would make me look bigger. I still don't wear sleeveless shirts because I think my arms are too big. Don't get it twisted, I love myself. What people think doesn't really bother me, but there are times when it makes me sad that most people would never think i'm beautiful because I have a few extra pounds on my body. How could it not? I'm a human being with feelings.
(read the rest here):

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What a great post and I am so glad to have read it. That is awful about that Chinese little girl being replaced by the other one. I really hope that my daughters don't grow up with self esteem issues like I did.

iWalk said...

I felt very angry when the fisrt time I knew this news after opening ceremonies.

And the reason of cheat is so ridiculous. We can't accept such kind of perfection!

Shelia said...

This is such a good post. I thought about that little girl often after the ceremonies. That was so rotten! They don't know how this may affect that child throughout the rest of her life.

American "standards" of beauty are laughable. But so many people buy into them through the television, magazines and movies that they just keep being perpetuated as legitimate.

It's obviously true in other countries too since we saw what happened to this little girl.

How foolish.

Natural said...

i don't know who decided...i guess the images on tv and what we see in magazines tells women how they are supposed to look...darn near flawless.

Diane Scott said...

I missed the opening ceremonies and this is a travesty! What the... give credit and talent to the talented, not someone's idea of "cute." I agree, both kids are adorable.

Jacqueline said...

Someone once said, "Whenever you watch TV, just say, 'They're lying to me.'" That also applies to photos in magazines, music (live versus studio) and other objects that the eyes behold.

I felt sad for the child because it WILL have a negative effect on her. If she doesn't understand it now, she'll understand later.

Unfortunately, people are obsessed with beauty. I think they'd rather have what is considered a "pretty" box for Christmas with nothing inside versus a gem inside what one may consider "ugly" wrappings.

"We" (meaning you or I) didn't create this monster, we just somehow find ourselves bowing down to it consciously or unconsciously, and feeding it so that it may continue to live on.

Mark Salinas said...

I thought that was very sad, I have two daughters and believe it is so important for them to have strong female role models. Very nice post!

JMom said...

Very nice post. Unfortunately, when I first learned of the switch, all I could think of was, "how typical". I have three daughters and we discussed this after it came out. I hope they don't ever encounter anything like this but I know they will. I just hope that when they do, they will realize that it's not about them or how they look or what color their skin is, I hope they will see that it's other people's stupidity and ignorance. I hope by then they will have developed their voices so they can tell off the jerks.

Having grown up in Asia, I am too familiar with this idealized conception of what's beautiful. I really felt bad for the other girl because she is obviously very talented. I hope someone told her what an awesome voice she has.

Strongblkwmn said...

Thanks so much for posting my blog entry. It was a real honor. I'm new to the blogging scene and you've always supported me. I've been writing all my life, but I get a little nervous when I know that others are reading my stuff. (Crazy but true).

I still think of that little girl from time to time. This experience has the potential to affect her for the rest of her life. I hope she has a strong foundation and that her parents are able to help her through it.

Strongblkwmn said...

I just thought of an experience my daughter had when she was in first grade. She came home in tears because the kids in school were teasing her. She was the only dark skinned girl in her class and the other girls were telling her that her skin was ugly and she would always be ugly because she was so dark.

After hearing her story, I sat her in front of a mirror and told her how beautiful she was. I described every part of her face from her big brown eyes to her chin and told her it was all beautiful and unique. By the time I was done she was smiling and went to school with her head held high. She even told the other little girls that they were jealous of her beautiful chocolate skin.

My daughter is 23 years old now and she still remembers that day. She said it boosted her self esteem and made her feel like a princess.

Joy0z said...

The first time I read the post about it I was so shock and wondering why parents allowed such thing . They said the original singer doesn't really look cute in person and really not pleasing to see. But, that wasn't still valid reason to do so for the sake of country's popularity. What the kids now thinking? Really disgusting. Pretty but fake, wonderful but weak. That's what I can say to the little girls.

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