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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A Big, Fat Double Standard




It's been going on for decades now, but the past few years has definitely seen it not just increasing, but actually being shown as the norm. It actually pisses me off a little.


Look familiar? I'm seeing it in almost every television commercial, on too many TV sitcoms to list, in movies and in print ads. It's literally being shoved down our throats and force fed to us daily. You can't watch a simple ad for cereal or phone service without being bombarded with it.

I really would like to know why we are constantly being shown a large size or obese man with a slim, trim, obviously works out and eats right (or doesn't eat at all) woman? Yet, you hardly ever see a plus sized woman portrayed as the wife/girlfriend of a slim, fit, good looking guy? They always show it in reverse. They barely even show just two average sized people on TV anymore - the guy/boyfriend/husband is always fat, the woman, perfectly thin. I see these images constantly on commercials for Best Buy, Verizon, Circuit City, McDonald's, Kmart, Target, Sprint, Burger King, etc, etc, etc, ad nauseum.

Now that you don't have to be "perfect" to be on television, it seems like the fat guys are getting all the work. But what about the women? I wouldn't care if there was at least some equality. Show me a large sized woman with slim, finely muscled, handsome hottie sitting on the couch, or in the appliance store helping her pick out the DVR, or playfully helping her toss salad or chop vegetables in the kitchen.
Or, get this, a large size COUPLE. That's actually more realistic. That's actually the version that I see more often when out in public. Where both partners are large.
It actually makes more sense, because most couples tend to live a similar lifestyle under the same roof. There are exceptions, but for the most part, if the goose is eating Mickey D's 24-7, then so is the gander.

And by the way, why are fat men still more acceptable on TV than fat women? I know this whole trend dates as far back as The Honeymooners with Ralph and Alice Kramden, but now that the industry is being all fair and PC, why not just go all the way? I'd like to see just as many big women on the tube as I see big men. It's only fair!

Now, I'm not advocating being overweight here....just talking about equity. I'm always about what's fair. If I get two, you get two, too. Even Steven. Unless you're my younger brother. With him, it was always who was quick enough to get the last piece or the bigger half (of anything)....
Anyway...

I'm sick of seeing the fat guy with the skinny girl. Unless you're going to balance the scales and also show the other version (big woman/small man), then, just stop it!
It seems to me that they're teaching women to be completely accepting of men in any size, shape or form, but for men, a slim, trim woman who goes to the gym while he sits on the couch eating chips...hey, that's just how it's supposed to be! I SO disagree, and women consumers also should pipe up a little about this.
To me, this teaches males that they don't have to take care of their bodies or bother much with grooming, being healthier, etc...no matter what, they still deserve a slim, hot chick. Fat girls are out!
Always go for the super model type, big guy!
A really good woman shouldn't care that you're pushing 400+ lbs! If she does, she's shallow! But you? You're not being shallow for only trying to pick skinny women. You're just.... being a guy....

Girls are being taught to be more forgiving and to just accept a mate regardless of what size he is. You want a slim, fit, good looking guy who takes care of his body? How superficial!!! You should be ashamed of yourself! True beauty is on the inside! How dare you not give the
obese/chubby/portly guy a chance!
What's really unfortunate is seeing the media avidly enforcing this imbalanced point of view....

So.....in conclusion, if size really doesn't matter anymore, then where are the big girls on TV? Either put both, or none at all. That's all I'm sayin'.....
Let's just make it fair.


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31 comments:

Kelly B said...

That is so true. I never paid much attention to it, but now that you have pointed it out, I'm having a hard time thinking of anything that has it the reverse or equal. In reality, it is more likely that they are equal in size (or close) and I have seen the heavy girl with the skinny guy. In fact my best friend is in that relationship.

I think it goes back to the old mindset of a woman has to make sure she always looks good to keep her man. The sad thing is, the media has yet to keep up with the current mindset which states, there are always other men out there.

I do my best to stay in shape and always look my best when I leave the house. I don't know why I'd have to expect the guy to do the opposite. Just silly and, actually, insulting to hold such low expectations.

Kelly

robert troch said...

Hey FD,

A society where a family........fat mother , fat father and a fat kid are considered acceptable/normal, but someone who works hard at nutrition and exercise is considered strange, odd and obsessed is one that is topsy turvy anyway.

BTW - Me and my significant other both have said that we wouldn't be with each other if we didn't appeal to each other physically. Nothing superficial about it, but it helps!

gLoR!e said...

Strongly agree...what about if i am the one to be on T.V since i really had the huge problem of my belly?heheh ggrrr..honestly, i hate to see it now growing. Can you make a post here how to get rid off huge belly, without sit-ups because i cant manage that one. My figure is like this: i'm slim fair arms to legs BUT i got a bulging tummy, really big..it looks like 5-10 inches already. its so annoying. I'm planning to do the diet but some people would say if i do, i would look like the skinny-to-the-bone already. It's only the bulging tummy that i need to get rid off..please help me..and notify me if you post some tips of exercise that won't do much lifting..i'm hoping...:)


thanks in advance!:)

Azure Islands Designs said...

You know Diva the problem here is the plus size woman doesn't matter to society...it makes me sad but it is very true!!!!

People don't want to see a large woman on TV, or in person...but for some reason a large man is perfectly acceptable??? Not sure what the difference is...
Cheers

ELI BRADEN of PISTOL OPERA said...

HEAVY BOY ... HEAVIER GIRL = the best combo of ALL!

I submit this video as evidence:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/14ae2e58c8/fat-girls-by-eli-braden

Wilson Pon said...

You're damn right, Diva. We should be more open-minded, as the outer beauty won't last forever...

Jude said...

I can remember at least one show where both were big, remember Roseaane?

Strongblkwmn said...

I am one of the plus size women you speak of. I stopped looking to tv and movies to see anyone who looks like me a long time ago. The only time you see a plus size woman is when she's being made fun of, the "cute" girls sidekick, or chasing after some man who doesn't want her.

Sinking to a new low is the show "More to Love," on Fox. The title is as terrible as the content of the show. It's basically a bunch of big women vying for the affection of a big man (whose weight they never elude to) and complaining about how terrible their weight has made their lives.

Anyway...A plus size girl only has a few role models. Queen Latifah comes to mind. She's beautiful, smart and talented, and she happens to have a few extra pounds on her. She's on in a million in her industry and always will be.

I'm very confident as are the friends I have who are plus size. Society's idea of beauty may not stretch our way but it's okay because we know how to make our own way in the world without letting it get us down. Men don't have to worry about it because sexism is alive and well.

Melissa Erickson said...

I have noticed that for awhile now. It is more than just weight though. In most shows now the man is an idiot, a jerk, a slob, and/ or unhygienic. It adds to men thinking that they can be big fat lazy slobs and woman should always be there looking their best and just be happy that the man does not leave them.

Kevin in Manila said...

Diva,

I've heard that women will turn down magazines featuring pictures of "healthy" women in favor of the super-skinny models. Not sure if it's true, but media tends to work on supply and demand.

Bethany said...

This is incredibly true, especially when you think of all of the sitcoms that have a lovable fat husband and a super hot wife. There are so many women that are more average sized and still beautiful, and they don't necessarily weigh 50 pounds less than their husband. WTF?

jacqueline said...

I'm with you on this one. :-) I always check out the news reporters. From what I've seen they've been getting better as of late in terms of equaling things out. But the female reporter is young and attractive and the male is usually so, so or much, much older. The double standard is clearly there. And sometimes I DO get ticked off!!

Thanks for bringing this situation into the light.

Ram Bansal, the Theosoph said...

Fitness is equally important for both - men and women. The couple can enjoy life when both are fit.

Anonymous said...

Great tips... Good luck on your weight loss!

EastCoastLife said...

I usually see partners who are equal in size. But I do see more of skinny wives with fat (and/or old) hubbys when it comes to wealthy men. :)

Fit Jerk - Flawless Fitness said...

Weird... I've always wondered about this exact concept and did some research on it like a few years back.

Here's what I found. It's all about the ratings! (Funny how that is the reason huh? Should've guessed from the damn start)

For some reason the fat man/thin woman combo is the most appealing to the average US TV watcher. Apparently, this is because more people tend to "forgive" the fat guy... even when he does stupid sh*t. This is what makes it funny.

On the contrary, the general audience were shown to be a LOT less merciful towards a fatter woman. Therefore if they wanted her to do something dumb... it wouldn't be laughed at, but instead cause them to change channels.

I mean you had Roseanne... so I guess that's ONE exception, but she was a bit crazy.

Also don't forget, half the population is MALE. Men don't like watching fat women on TV... so its like a double whammy approach to get maximum number of eyeballs to watch their show because without eyeballs and ratings... no one is making any money.

It's sad, but true.

Maximus said...

Fat big girls look more ugly than fat men, 'coz women are the quintessence of beauty. That's why!

draxc0la said...

I think it goes back to the old mindset of a woman has to make sure she always looks good to keep her man. Great tips... Good luck on your weight loss!

Dori said...

There is definitely a double standard in regards to weight and also as Jacqueline said, when you have newscasters with the older guy and the young woman. Also you see this in movies with the older man and younger woman. It is strange.

Hey Shae! said...

I see it all the time. Definitely a double standard.

your "Health Assistant" said...

this is very true, and very alarming to us women

From the Grandma's Purse said...

Yeah! I agree with Kelly and in fact I have also undergone the same situation. But anyways, I controlled it by regular diet and some sort of exercises. You just invoke my memories of olden days...

The Fitness Diva said...

Well, I just have to say that it makes me mad. It really does teach men that they only have to "be", but us women? We'd better be as perfect as we damn can!
Well, in doing my part, I DEMAND that any man I'm with be in as good shape as myself! Call that biased if you want...SOMEBODY has to set the precedent!! LOL!

Daisy Bookworm said...

Check out the new show on Lifetime called "Drop Dead Diva." There are a few plot points I don't agree with, but the sexual tension is between a size sixteen woman and a very trim/obviously works out man. You might like it.

Shinade aka Jackie said...

You are so right on target with this. I had noticed but as it is not my forte to write about have never mentioned it.

I am glad you did. Wow it's good to be back hear visiting The Diva!! How have you've been?

Oh by the way, in our household, it is completely the opposite and so unfair to me.

My hubby can eat anything and everything, still stay slim and healthy, even at age 63. Me, I can look at one M&M and gain weight!!

I hope you have a fantastic week!!
Jackie:-)

Star-chuu said...

Hi Diva, I tagged you..pls. check in this link. http://www.star-chuu.net/2009/08/tag-from-david-funk.html

Sioux City used cars said...

What a good point; it is unfair to expect women to be accepting without demanding men be the same.

leana said...

Quite true. Aside from Queen Latifah, Aretha Franklin and Rosie O'donnel, the media tends to ignore plus-sized women. @ gLoR!e: I might have a solution for your problem of skinny limbs and a big belly- mixing-up cardio and weight-training and eat healthier food every 2 hours (in smaller portions). The cardio takes care of excess fat around your midsection, muscle-training bulks-up your limbs, and eating frequently in smaller portions will keep you from going hungry and eating too much in one sitting.

Envelope Printing | UPrinting.com said...

Fat men on TV=funny (cases in point: Drew Carey, Kevin James)
Fat women on TV=gross

This is the way we think because that's what Hollywood wants us to think. Sadly, almost everything that we believe in nowadays are dictated by the "celebrities." It doesn't necessarily mean that they are right about this though.

Norfolk Fitness Center said...

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