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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Locked Up Abroad

This show is my latest obsession. I am riveted to these stories, and you won't believe how my heart races when these poor, unfortunate fools get stopped by the customs agents at some airport in Thailand, Costa Rica, or Hong Kong carrying drugs. I'm like, WTF?
I don't care how desperate and penniless I am in some foreign country. I'd sell a kidney before hopping on a plane as a drug mule. The consequences are far too great.
By the way, jail in other countries SUCKS!!! You think prison is bad here? At least they feed you, and you get a bed. On this program I have seen prisons where you sleep on dirt floors packed in with 12 other people in a tiny cell. In some they don't have plumbing or toilets. You go in a bucket that you have to share with all your cell mates (some of whom are cockroaches and rats)! And that's for life, or some nearly as long sentence. By the way, did you know that the penalty for transporting heroin in Thailand is DEATH? I'm like, there's no "first time" lighter sentence or something? Death by machine gun. Yeah! Sign me up for THAT!

That's why you can't go thinking you're this smart aleck that's gonna get away with it. These customs people see drug mules coming through all the time. They can probably pick up the scent of drug mule fear in your sweat.

Last night the story was about this couple from the UK that wanted to visit Thailand. They went, and got so addicted to the laid back lifestyle there that they decided to not return home. They became beach bums, like many other tourists there, and that was cute until their money started to run out. Then, desperate for money to maintain the lifestyle that they'd now become accustomed to, they went around from bar to bar trying to get jobs. No one was hiring. Well, eventually they met a guy (don't they always?) who said that he had a job they could do. "Just carry this package into Hong Kong for me, and you will get paid $5000 GBR (pounds)." Well, damn, that was more money than the guy made in a year. So, they thought about it, and of course, the greed got the better of them. They did the job, and MADE IT all the way.

Did NOT get caught. Wow. I wasn't ready for that. Anyway, they now had enough money to live for a couple years in Thailand. Well, after a nice, long while of living it up on the beach all fancy free, once again the money ran out. Now, call me wimpy, but, don't you think getting away with it once was gift enough? Not for this guy. Having just broken up with the girlfriend, he was now on his own, and hurting for cash. So, he hooked up with another one of these drug people and they told him to take 2 kilos of cocaine to Australia. Ok. Now, after doing up a ton of it himself, he put some into condoms (67 of them) and swallowed it, and the rest he taped around his waist. (wasn't that the deal in Midnight Express?). Made it through the Thai customs, and onto the plane, no prob. Landed in Sydney, and almost made it through, but wouldn't ya know, they were training new customs agents at the Sydney airport THAT SAME DAY. So, he got subjected to a random "training" search.

After the luggage search turned up nothing, they were letting him go until the supervisor said to one of the trainees "Hey, how about giving him a body search? You could use the practice". OMFG. I was sitting there sweating bullets just like I was the guy when the customs agent said that. lol. Well, ya know they found the stuff, he got busted and then sent to prison. And the condoms of coke he'd swallowed got caught in his intestines and wouldn't pass, so they had to operate to get 'em out. Getting busted actually saved his life! Funny thing though, since it wasn't an Asian or South American country, he ended up serving about 7 years or so. If his ass had been in Thailand or somewhere similar, he could have kissed his butt good bye. They might not even have give him that life saving surgery, come to think of it.

This is a great series (and deterrent to thinking you can make a quick buck hauling drugs somewhere), and there is usually a new one on every Monday night. I have to say, I am loving the nail biting drama of these little drug mule stories! You don't have to tell ME to not be taking stuff on a plane or into some foreign country. Hell, I won't even risk a Tylenol! Are you kidding me? This girl LOVES her freedom!

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durano lawayan a.k.a. brad spit said...

Hi Fitness Diva,

Good for you , you value your freedom more than a good cash haul! Money isn't everything, and people who get used to a bon vivant lifestyle are the most susceptible.

In most of Asia, this carries the death penalty. The Philippines gives the courier a life sentence.

And you're right, in some countries, they wouldn't bother with the operation. They could hasten shooting you or just let you die. Why spend on a dead man eh? That's how they see it. :-) --Durano, done!

James Tubman said...

those asian countries don't mess around

ever since the opium wars when the british forced the chinese to selll drugs to their citizens

ever since the chinese freed themselves from the britsh they vowed not to let their people get hooked on drugs

the south east asian plan works lol

The Fitness Diva said...

Yeah, they don't play over there. I wonder what's the fine for jaywalking or illegal parking. lol

Anonymous said...

little drug mules? i was the first american in an ecuadorian prison. wanna hear my crazy story? ha!

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